A One True Love is False?

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A few weeks ago I was at a bible study expectant and excited as we were continuing our discussion on relationships, marriages, and the concept of your soul mate. Little did I know this conversation would rattle my world and cause some sleep deprivation in the process all because of a sentence. A sentence that was said twice by leaders and backed by a number of people.

“I don’t believe in ‘the one.””

Growing up, especially for us girls, it’s drilled into our minds to save ourselves and wait for “the one.” Our soul mate. Our Mr. Right. Our one and only. Our true love. So when I heard this profound opinion for the first time it didn’t take much for me to raise my hand and ask them to expound on this statement. Their explanation was very similar to what I read that night when I rushed home and researched all I could on the subject. Christian articles like, “There is No Such Thing as The One,” “Why There’s No Such Thing as a Soul Mate,” and reports from The Christian Post and Crosswalk more or less said the same thing: spending the time trying to find someone that perfectly fits all your criteria and needs who is custom-fitted to you isn’t the wisest decision.

After reading through all these posts and asking the opinions of other leaders in the church who agree, it is still unsettling to me. If you delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4), why wouldn’t He bless you with what you’re looking for? If God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), wouldn’t He use his supernatural power and divine appointment to bring two people together especially if they, along with their family, have been praying for their future spouse since birth? Should I really settle for someone that fits just some and not all my desires? Am I sacrificing God’s provision for convenience? Does the pressure exceed patience?

To be honest, I’m not sure if I’ll ever know the answer. But what I have learned from all of this is that 1) there is so much pressure of finding “the one,” 2) so I might have high standards but why wouldn’t a daughter of the King not?, and 3) my relationship with God is a romance in itself and that is my priority. I don’t know when, how, or if God has someone out there for me, but for now I’ll take the greatest love I’ve ever received and live my life for Him. “He loves me, He loves me not forever.

What are your thoughts on “the one?” I love getting as much insight as I can!

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“Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.”
– President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Author: fashion meets God

Christ ambassador and faith & fashion blogger at fashionmeetsgod.com

2 thoughts on “A One True Love is False?”

  1. I believe that the reason so many speak against using the verbiage of “The One”, is because it appears to put too much pressure on finding ‘the perfect’ spouse. I don’t believe that ‘soulmates’ is a Scriptural concept, but I do believe that God works in relationships and marriages. I trust that He has been at work in our relationship ever since I met my husband, and I believe that He is using the two of us to encourage each other in our walk towards Christ-likeness. I love my husband very much, and I can’t imagine life without him, but at the same time–I know that if the worst happened, and he passed away, God would still be God, and my life would not be ruined or destroyed–and it’s even possible that I could meet and love another spouse at some time in the future, because in theory, there’s not only one person in the whole entire world that I could be happy and serve God together with, it’s just that since we’re married, in fact, we become the ‘one’ for each other.

    1. Rachel, thank you SO much for your insight. This really brought some clarity as I’ve been challenged with this certain topic for weeks now. You’re right, I’ve actually had a family member who has lost their first spouse but by God’s goodness has found love again with her now second husband and is committed to her “new” one. I’ve realized that there really is too much pressure on finding the perfect significant other. Thank you for your comment again!

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