One day I received an email from a woman in Nigeria (don’t you just love the Internet?!) and then I find myself reading a post she wrote on heartbreak. Ladies, we know that is NOT an easy topic and we’ve all had our ride on the heartache train in some way or another. I was captivated by her vulnerability through her words and could even relate to what her heart went through. I’m so glad that as Daughters of the King we don’t have to keep living a life of pain and sadness; He relieves and saves us from the deepest, darkest pits. I pray as you read her story you are just as encouraged as I am!
“The Cure to Heartbreak”
By: Oluwadara Lasisi
Musing in my bed, thinking about the best way to narrate how my life changed from ugly to amazing. It still baffles me how an invisible person can reveal to you deep hurts you’ve been through and make them go away. From when I was a little girl, I was constantly belittled and convinced that I was not good enough; all of the adults I looked up to gave me condemning comments and looks. When I reached out for love, they told me to my face how horrible I was.
Hearing these comments constantly, I began to believe that I was a bad person and if I ever wanted to be accepted, I needed to work for it – the approval fix. Because of the fear and loneliness I suffered, most times I spent the night alone in my room, squeezing in a corner, why did a little girl like this have to go through so much?
It didn’t take long before I began to search for love in food, fame and relationships. I would eat to feel happy, the pounds added and I hated myself for it. I tried to become a music star so I sent messages to
celebrities on Facebook telling them how well I could sing, they never responded, I ate more (what’s life without the calories, bring ‘em on!). The next thing was to find love in a dude; if God couldn’t give me
love, a man must! Dude hurt me so badly that I closed my heart to love, if I built walls around me no one could ever get close to me again. I was fat, ugly and negative.
I prayed and tried to believe, but the voice in my head told me that I was a bad person and God was irritated with me, the explanation for why He never heard me. I was depressed for six months. Then one day, I got up, gave up on God, and decided to go wild. I had suffered in relationships so I birthed a new ideology about relationships in my head. I needed to act like I didn’t care so that I wouldn’t be heartbroken – don’t be the first to call, don’t make him feel too appreciated, act like you don’t care, and he will never get over you. I got into a relationship and I applied these principles for a while. They worked and I began to believe I was fine. I didn’t understand that love opens unhealed wounds, it didn’t take long before I began to request for more love, and even with the love I received, my tank never seemed to get full. I got heartbroken again and it felt like my life was over. I tried to smile and act strong, but it wasn’t in me. I couldn’t give out what I didn’t have inside.
I cried and screamed, I didn’t care who heard, and at that point I was suicidal. Then Jeremiah 29:12-13 came alive to me.
“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” GOD’s Decree.
God came in and began His healing in me- this is definitely not the cliché healing. It was deep. This is the part where I tell you that the cure to heartbreak is in Jesus. Christ does not give therapy to minimize the effects of your pain; He goes in to the roots and starts His work there. People don’t believe when I tell them it was Christ that healed me. I could have gone into depression again or taken up alcohol and drugs, but He saw my need and sent someone to speak to me. From that time, I learned the simple art of giving God all my pain. When my friend says something rude or when I get into a fight with someone I love and I feel broken by their actions, I go on my knees and ask God to heal me of the pain I feel and help me forgive them. It works!
Go on today and ask God to heal you of the heartbreak you are facing; the little ones, the big ones, give it all to Him.
Thank you, Oluwadara, for sharing! God fixes, heals, and restores ANYTHING!
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